3May

『中篇故事・4chan』我为艾拉唱首歌(一)

时间: 2016-5-3 分类: 我为艾拉唱首歌 作者: Skylark

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语言:   大陆 港澳 台湾

引用元:http://imgur.com/gallery/jNOru


 

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4chan 我为艾拉唱首歌

 

Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:19:49 No. 595592516

this is my story…

这是我的故事

>be me, 19 yo college freshman 

我是一个19岁的大一新生(※yo是years old的缩写)

>this was 10 years ago

这是10年前的事情了

>i had this bro from highschool, pete

我有一个同我来自一个高中的好朋友皮特

>we were friends, but not exactly bros he was a cool guy, and i think i was cool to him

我们是好朋友,但是不是真正意义上的兄弟,我们虽然关系很好,但是还没到极其亲密。

>turns out we applied to the same college and enrolled

我们申请了同样的大学并且被录取了

>going to the same classes

我们上一样的课

>practically spending all of our time together

我几乎一直同他待在一起

>away from you family, with your high school life behind you. things can get hectic

离开家庭,从高中生活毕业,一切都是那么快!

>yeah, you are horny teenagers with no real problems to deal with

是的,你是一个少年,没有任何问题需要去解决。

>but you still need a friend you can depend on

但你仍然需要一个可以依靠的朋友

>and we were that friend to each other

我们就是那样的朋友

fast forward a couple of months

几个月之后

>second semester, we start taking this new class

第二个学期我们开始选新的课程

>and there is this girl in the class

班上有一个女孩

>not just us, but every fucking human being with a working dick in the entire campus is losing their shit over her

不只是我们,在校园里任何一个功能正常的男性都为她着迷

>ordinary straight girls are ready to become lesbians just for her

连性取向正常的女性都会被她掰弯

>i mean… man… wow… what an., angel? a beam of light? deux ex machina descending from heaven? i have no fucking idea

我的意思是,老天,那就是天使,是光,是从天堂降下的神迹,我完全不知道该怎么表达

>a value over 10 is a measurement that applies to us. mere mortals

我们认为她是超越满分的存在,已然超凡脱俗

>her beauty cannot be calculated or properly abstracted with numbers

她的美不能被计算或者被用数字来概括

>and looking at her is like something you know you shouldnt do

并且盯着她看是一件你知道不应该做的事情

>not because its creepy or socially awkward or some other shit

这并不是因为这很诡异或者尴尬或其它什么原因

>its because you feel youre not worthy

这是因为你会觉得自惭形秽

>not for her youre not. no. NOT HER

你远远比不上她

>but we were looking

但我们就是盯着她

>turns out we first saw her practically at the same time

我们几乎在同时看到了她

>and we wanted to point her to one another

并且我们都想提醒对方

>but we couldnt take our eyes off of her

但是我们不能把眼睛从她的身上移开

>so we sat in some lousy economy class or whatever and drooled over her for half an hour

所以我们在这节糟糕的经济课还是其它什么课并且痴痴地盯了她半个小时

>before i whispered… “dude… fuck me…”

我向他轻声说:“哥们儿,我艹!”

>and it took pete a solid 5 minutes before he could simply say “yeah…”

而在他花了足足五分钟才能够简单得回复我,“好的”

>there she was. this 5’9”n lady with long wavy auburn hair and emerald green eyes to die for

她就是这样,这个1m75高的有着长长的赤褐色波浪状头发和翡翠般碧色的眼睛让我愿意为她不惜一切

>and pretty sure, to kill for

甚至被她杀死

>sitting just a couple feet away from us

她就坐在离我们几英尺之外

>yeah… so, “fuck me…” was the correct response in that situation

所以……“我艹!”在那种情形下是非常正确的反应

pic is unrelated random chick.

图片是我随机找的与描述的角色无关

 

Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:20:04 No. 595592547

>after the class

下课以后

>to this day i cant for the life of me remember what the fuck it was about

在这天,我忘记了我人生曾经的意义

>we were already orbiting her like some lousy asteroids stuck to a massive black hole

我们已经开始绕着她转就像一些小行星被吸入一个巨大的黑洞

>creepily getting closer and closer to her as she sucked us in

非常怪异得是,我们同她越靠越近就像她把我们吸进去一样

>bumping to each other and walking like we were drunk and out of our minds

我们互相靠着像个醉汉一般走路好像我们都疯了似的

>i dont know what it was

我不明白发什么什么

>maybe she realized that we were following her like pervs

也许她意识到我们就像变态一样跟着她

>or maybe it was something else

或者像其他什么

>half way to the cafeteria, she just stopped and turned towards us

在去往食堂的途中,她停下来并且转向我们

>we comedically bumped into each other and stopped as well

我们滑稽地撞到了对方,并且也停下了脚步

>but her beauty was so miraculous we forgot to look somewhere else

但是她是如此的美让我们忘记看向别的地方

>i remember her gaze, it was like the back of our heads blew open and brains splattered all over the hallway

我记得她的凝视,就好像我们的脑袋被从后面炸开,并且我们的脑子溅得走廊到处都是

>those green eyes man…

那对绿色的眼睛!我的天啊啊啊啊!

>and she smiled. SHE FUCKING SMILED

而她的笑容,我去,她竟然笑了。

>if we werent healthy. Fit males in their prime we would have died of heart attack at that moment

如果我们不是健康,并且处在最全盛的时期,我们在那时就会死于心脏病

>we couldnt breathe she was so beautiful

她得美简直让我窒息!

>so there we were, still staring at her, our eyes and mouths wide open

我们就是那样,仍然盯着她看,并且睁大我们的眼睛还有嘴巴

>we were in our low, waaay low 2 digit IQs at that moment

我们那时候直接蒙逼了,那时候我们的智商降到了两位数

>and there she was. in all of her glory

而她就在那,处在最完美的状态

>like i said. 5’9″, long wavy auburn hair, emerald green eyes

如我之前提到的,身高1m75,长长的赤褐色波浪状的头发,翡翠般的绿眼睛

>long curvy and athletic legs, you know, slimmer at the knees

小腿修长且富有曲线美感的同时又不乏健壮,而在膝盖处更加纤细

>well defined muscles on her calves and soft but rigid thighs

小腿肚子上的肌肉轮廓分明,柔软但又不失

>her ankles were so elegant

她的脚踝非常优雅

>but her tendons were strained… as if she were a wild gazelle ready to bolt out at a moments notice

但是她的脚踝紧绷,她就好像一只野生的羚羊,已经准备好从一段时间的注视中逃离

>her butt… i cant call it an ass. not hers.

她的臀部,我不能将其称之为屁股,那不是她所拥有的

>ass is what girls have

屁股是女生们所有的

>this lady had something else she had buttocks that required a new definition of the word

但是这位女士并非如此,她的臀部需要一个新的词去定义

>they were so Firm and so well shaped, you could perfectly calculate for pi if you took measurements

那是如此的紧实而饱满,你可以通过测量完美的计算出π!

>her breasts… i dont even have the words

她的白兔……让我无言

>to this day im still searching for the right words

即使是现在我仍然在寻找正确描述她们的词

>and i will try and describe them later in the story… but i will fail terribly

我将在接下来的故事中试着描述,但是我一定会失败得很惨

 

Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:20:23 No. 595592584

>i can still remember what she was wearing that day

我至今仍然记得她那天穿了什么

>i know what she was wearing probably better than her on the day she wore them

她的衣服在那天因为被她穿着而更加漂亮

>and i know this because pete knew this

而我知道这些是因为皮特知道

>after she looked at us and smiled

她看向我们并且微笑

>just for a few seconds which felt like an eternity

虽然只有几秒钟,但是那种感觉仿佛是永恒

>she turned around again and kept on walking

她在此转过身并且继续行走

>we just stayed put

我们傻站在那里,一动不动

>we couldnt follow her

我们没法跟着她

>our black hole left us lonely asteroids to the pitch black emptiness of cold space

我们的黑洞将我们——两颗孤独的小行星留在了寒冷空间里的黑色虚无中

>so after the school, we went to our dorm room with no information about her whatsoever

放学之后,我们回到寝室,没有任何一点关于她的消息

>no name, no nothing

没有名字,什么都没有

>just a mental image of her elegant stance etched deep into our minds

我们只是在脑海中深深地刻下了她优美的站姿

>i was looking at the pictures of random women with green eyes and auburn hair on yahoo

我在雅虎上面搜索那些有着碧色眼眸以及赤褐色头发的女人的照片

>that was the only thing i could do. But none of the images even came close to matching her beauty

这是我唯一能做的事情,但是这些图片甚至没有一张可以接近她的美

>well. pete felt like he had to do something

但是皮特觉得,他必须要做些什么

>and he fucking started searching for her clothes, i shit you not

他竟然开始搜索她穿着的衣服

>he was searching for her clothes on amazon and ebay and all these fashion and shopping sites neither of us knew nothing about

他在亚马逊,ebay还有其他所有那些时尚购物网站上搜索她的衣服,而我们之前对这些事一无所知

>he started with searching for her skirt

他开始搜她穿的短裙

>which was this black wool-cashmere circle skirt with a playful flare at the bottom

那是一条黑色开司米圆裙 俏皮的喇叭下摆

>couple inches above her knees, revealing her thighs just a little bit.

裙边高于膝盖几英寸,稍微露出了一点大腿

>when he found it, he shouted “I FOUND IT FUCK YEAH”

当皮特找到之后,他大叫:“我特喵地找到了!!!”

 


这里是sky,这篇是由英文组带来的长篇,既有趣又感人,希望大家能喜欢。

 

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Skylark

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Comments

目前有 17 条精彩评论

  1. CupcakeWOW
    CupcakeWOW 发表于: 2016年5月3日 22:53:32

    每個年級總有那麼一兩個遙不可及的女神(茶

  2. 地上最强的骰运
    地上最强的骰运 发表于: 2016年5月4日 00:01:30

    怎么一股机翻的味道

    • Skylaek
      Skylaek 发表于: 2016年5月4日 12:26:53

      我好伤心啊。

  3. cell
    cell 发表于: 2016年5月4日 00:25:57

    不愧为基友痴起来也同心同意

  4. 777
    777 发表于: 2016年5月4日 04:06:19

    诶诶,变成跟踪狂了吗

  5. 脑残粉
    脑残粉 发表于: 2016年5月4日 10:25:14

    ♂♂的预感

  6. 炤炤穆穆
    炤炤穆穆 发表于: 2016年5月4日 10:31:23

    浓郁的西方式语言

  7. CyclizePei
    CyclizePei 发表于: 2016年5月4日 12:31:35

    痴汉帖就是这里么

  8. Adagio
    Adagio 发表于: 2016年5月4日 13:32:44

    翻译有不准的地方,但希望大家给这个孩子一点时间和耐心

    • skylark
      skylark 发表于: 2016年5月4日 15:27:20

      哪里有问题欢迎指出哦。

      • cell
        cell 发表于: 2016年5月4日 16:11:02

        我之前做字幕的时候,也是满满的机翻感,不要灰心哦٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑)ᵒᵏᵎᵎᵎᵎ

  9. 兔子火锅
    兔子火锅 发表于: 2016年5月4日 14:38:43

    干巴得干巴得

  10. ringo
    ringo 发表于: 2016年5月4日 17:21:45

    好好奇她的长相

  11. 。
    发表于: 2016年5月4日 19:46:01

    一股谐得不行的气息若隐若现

  12. Roke8x
    Roke8x 发表于: 2016年5月5日 11:37:25

    我感觉翻译君意思是看懂了的,只是需要润色而已,可能西式表达太熟了,直译过来有点硬

    >and it took pete a solid 5 minutes before he could simply say “yeah…”
    而在他花了足足五分钟才能够简单得回复我,“好的”
    这个yeah应该是他朋友对前一句惊叹表示赞同的意思,翻译成”好的”略微有点硬了(不过我也暂时没想好用什么23333

    >her butt… i cant call it an ass. not hers.
    她的臀部,我不能将其称之为屁股,那不是她所拥有的

    后面这个not hers是加强前一句的语气,差不多是”我可以叫别人为屁股,但是不能这么叫她的”这种感觉,不需要翻译成”那不是她所拥有的”,感觉上不翻或者翻成”绝对不能”都可以

    我比较在意的就是这两点2333

  13. badapple
    badapple 发表于: 2016年5月10日 13:44:43

    >before i whispered… “dude… fuck me…”

    我向他轻声说:“哥们儿,我艹!”
    >and it took pete a solid 5 minutes before he could simply say “yeah…”

    而在他花了足足五分钟才能够简单得回复我,“好的”
    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  14. 陆奥推莎夏
    陆奥推莎夏 发表于: 2016年7月16日 05:41:03

    我稍微剧透一点点,结局是感人向的,不是4chan经常出现的那种反转搞笑类

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