『中篇故事・4chan』我为艾拉唱首歌（三）
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Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:22:19 No. 595592891
>after the economy class
经济学课后
>i wished him luck and we parted ways
我祝皮特好运，并且和他走不同的路
>an hour later he found me
一个小时之后，他找到我
>i asked him
我问他
>”how did it go?”
“进展如何？”
>”i dunno man… i really dunno. i mean, i might as well done great or fucked it up completely”
“我不知道，我真的不知道啊，我是说，我也许做得很好，或者彻底搞砸了”
>”why?”
“为什么这么说？”
>”look, we talked about fashion for an hour”
“我们聊了大概一小时的时尚”
>”so, you talked for an hour, thats great man!” – damn we were beta fags
“所以你们聊了一小时，这太棒了啊！” 我去，我们真的是预备基佬了啊。
>”yeah, but what if she thinks that im gay?”
“的确，但是万一她觉得我是基佬怎么办？”
>i started laughing pete had a point, straight guys dont usually talk about fashion
我开始笑皮特有道理，直男并不经常讨论时尚
>certainly not about womens fashion
尤其不关乎女性的时尚
>suddenly, ella comes out of nowhere
突然，艾拉冒了出来
>i froze
我僵住了
>pete looked at me and understood that ella was coming our way
皮特看了看我，明白了艾拉向我们走来
>”hey pete!”
“皮特!”
>and i heard ella’s voice for the first time
这是我第一次听到艾拉的声音
>she had a crackly. deep voice
她有清脆而深邃的嗓音
>kmda reminds me of scarlett johansson now…
让我想起斯嘉丽·约翰逊
>a lot of people dont think that kinda voice is flattering
很多人不认为那样的嗓音妩媚
>but if you found me a soprano that sings agnus dei
但是如果你发现我听到一位女高音唱着圣歌
>i would have told you “shut that woman up and let ella sing”
我会告诉你，“让那个女人闭嘴，并让艾拉唱。”
>”hey ella!” – said pete, his heart probably skipping a couple of beats
“你好艾拉。”皮特说，他的心也许跳漏了几拍
>”i remembered now… i got it from Anthropologie…”
“我想起来了，我是从店里买的”(Anthropologie 是UrbanOutfitters旗下的一个经营服装珠宝家居用品等产品的牌子）
>i have absolutely no idea what shes talking about
我完全不明白她在说什么
>”oh thanks!”
“多谢你啦”
>”dont mention it… its from last season tho, i dont think you could buy it for your sister, but they might have something similar…”
“别客气，我是在上一季买的，我觉得你没法为你的妹妹买到，但是也许有些类似的东西……”
>”oh.. well, thank you for telling me ella!”
“哦！感谢你告诉我这些艾拉”
>”youre welcome, see you around pete!”
“不用谢，再见啦皮特”
>”see you ella!”
“再见艾拉”
>and we watched ella walking away from us gracefuly. until she disappeared in the distance
我们目送着艾拉优雅地离开，直到她在远处消失
>still looking at her general direction, as if we could still see her
我仍然注视着艾拉离开的方向就好像我仍然能看见她似的
>”dude… your sister is 7…”
“哥们儿，我记得你妹妹才7岁吧…”
>”yeah i know…”
“我知道…”
>”she is…”
“她实在是…”
>”yeah i know… magnificent…”
“我明白……太优雅了”
Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:22:49 No. 595592970
>a week later, pete had another idea
一周之后，皮特有了另外一个点子
>in order to not look like a gay couple
为了让我们看起来不像情侣
>he suggested that we develop this “manly handshake”
他建议我们练习“男人一般的握手”
>and establish that we are in fact, bros
并且表明我们事实上只是兄弟
>like a bunch of idiots, we stayed up all night
就像一些白痴，我们通宵练习
>working out this complex yet subtle (or so we thought) secret handshake
来掌握这个复杂且微妙的(我们如是认为的)隐秘的握手
>our stupidity was at an immeasurable new height
我们又蠢出了新高度
>pete was chatting up ella. little by little everyday
皮特开始每天都一点点地与艾拉聊天
>but he was afraid of becoming a gay bff and lose all chance of dating her
但是他害怕成为她的gay蜜而失去约她的机会
>so he requested me to approach them tomorrow at some point mid conversation
所以他要求我明天在他们谈话的过程中靠近他们
>and “apply” the handshake
并且“使用”握手
>ok then
我答应了
>after our economy class
在我们经济学课后
>i gave pete some time
我稍微等了皮特一会
>then joined them in the cafetena
然后进入食堂参与他们的讨论
>as i approached them, pete saw me coming
在我接近的过程中，皮特看见我走过来
>excused himself like a true boss gentleman
我像真的总裁一样打断他们
>and we started acting out this ridiculous handshake in unison
我们开始同时表演这个愚蠢的握手
>i mean it was absolute bullshit
我觉着这就是一坨屎
>hands and Fingers everywhere clicking and fist bumping and doing other various stuff
手掌与手指到处指指点点，碰拳头，又做了各种各样的事情
>it was like the douchebag version of cirque du soleil
这让我觉得我就是一个弱智的小丑 (cirque du soleil是太阳马戏团，加拿大规模最大的一个马戏团，意译)
>halfway thru (yeah it was that long it almost needed an interlude) ella starts laughing her ass off
进行到一半的时候(是的，这个握手太长，需要一些小插曲)艾拉开始爆笑不止
>she was laughing like a crazy person
她笑得像一个疯子
>we freeze
我们都僵住了
>the blood drains away from pete’s face
皮特变得面无血色
>pale as fuck
无比苍白
>we realize that we just fucked up
我们明白我们搞砸了
>we fucked up immensely
我们完完全全地搞砸了
>and we force ourselves to turn and face ella
我们迫使我们自己转身面向艾拉
>she’s trying to silence herself, still laughing
她试图让自己静下来，但是仍然在笑
>pete and i still holding hands like fucktards
皮特和我仍然握着手就好像两只傻X
>she tries to apologize for laughing
她试图为她的笑而道歉
>but then she starts laughing even louder
但是过了会儿她笑得更欢了
>we look around and hope that no other person has acknowledged how dumb we look fortunately no one other than ella is laughing
我们环顾四周并且希望没有别人发现我们看起来多蠢，幸运的是，除了艾拉没有人在笑
>but ella is still laughing
但是艾拉还在笑
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本文作者: Skylark
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抱歉=_=。。刚刚没注意不小心点了禁止评论
這基佬有夠努力
到底想搞姬还是搞基，搞得我好乱啊
这绝对是基佬吧Σ(ﾟДﾟ)
好好的直男说弯就弯www
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