老外的《三国演义》之败走麦城读后感

引用元：http://kongming.net/novel/writings/blanning/death_of_greatness.php

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The Death of Greatness by Brian Lanning

英雄的陨落

 

 

“Then Sun Ch’uan asked Lü Meng, saying, ‘If he fly to a distance, how can he be captured?’ ‘The divination exactly fits in with my schemes,’ replied he, ‘and though Kuan had wings to soar to the skies he would not escape my net.’”

权问吕蒙曰：“卦主敌人远奔，卿以何策擒之？”蒙笑曰：“卦象正合某之机也。关公虽有冲天之翼，飞不出吾罗网矣！”

 

I’m reading in my living room on a comfortable rocking chair with my feet on a little footrest. I can smell the pages of the historical novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms; they have that nice “old book” smell like dried-out leaves in autumn.

读到这的时候我躺在起居室的摇椅上，脚搁在小脚凳上面，能嗅到历史小说《三国演义》的书页味，那种美妙的旧书味道啊，闻上去就像秋天的枯叶。

 

I’m reading about a chaotic time in China, and numerous characters and events, but I can find myself only thinking about Kuan Yu, the man that Sun Ch’uan and Lü Meng are plotting against. The great and invincible Kuan Yu, with his hundred-pound halberd and his long flowing beard, giving him the nick-name “Kuan Yu of the beard.” This is the end of the chapter, so I close the book and put it on the ledge next to me. I slouch down in my rocking chair, knowing full well that these two imps could never defeat the great Kuan Yu.

正在读的是关于中国的一段乱世时期，人物众多，事件庞大，但发现自己思来想去的只有关羽，被孙权和吕蒙合谋暗算的关羽。伟大无敌的关羽，手持百磅重的青龙偃月刀，长须飘逸，由此得名“美髯公”。这章结束了，我合上书，放在旁边的窗台上。我颓在摇椅上，深知这两个坏家伙永远也不可能战胜伟大的关羽。

 

After slouching comfortably for a minute or two I get up to walk around, and take some pacing steps around my living room. The warm carpet feels nice and relaxing on my socked-feet. I’m not pacing in anxiety or anything, just getting the blood flowing again.

在椅子上舒舒服服地颓了一两分钟后，我站起来溜达一下，在起居室里踱来踱去。穿着袜子踩在温暖的地毯上，感觉舒服又放松。起来走走倒不是因为焦虑之类的，就是想促进下血液循环。

 

I’ve been in that chair reading for about an hour now and just felt like moving. I can hear the soothing sounds of the rain hitting the roof. I feel secure in this room. The room has this nice warm lighting, where it’s not too bright, nor too dark; that’s why I always do my reading in this room. “Maybe,” I think, “I’ll just read another chapter before going to bed.” I stretch my chest, and feel a nice, light pulling in the front of my shoulders.

我在那把椅子上看了将近一个小时的书，想走动一下。能听到雨滴落在房顶上那让人舒缓的声音。在这房间里我很安心，灯光温暖，不太刺眼也不昏暗，所以总是在这里看书。“要不要呢，”我心想，“睡前再读它一章。”我抻抻胸，感觉肩前微微拉伸，很好。

 

 

I return to the chair and ease into it, putting my feet back on the little footrest. I pick the book back up from the ledge, open it up and smell that sweet autumn fragrance emanating and lingering. “When Kuan Yu mustered his fighting men in the city, he had but three hundred, all told.” I let out a little chuckle.

我回到椅子边，舒坦地坐了上去，脚又搭上小脚凳，从窗台拿起书，翻开后那股秋天的甜馥弥散开来，萦绕不去。“且说关公在麦城，计点马步军兵，止剩三百余人。”我轻声笑了。

 

These would seem like dire straits to anyone who was not familiar with the hardships that the great Kuan Yu has overcome in his lifetime. This is the man that road out of a kingdom alone and had to slay six officers in order to escape. This is the man that knowingly went to a banquet designed to assassinate him, and walked out unscathed holding the host in the air.

在对关羽大人生平多次脱困不甚了了的人眼中，这似乎是倒悬之危。他是千里走单骑，过五关斩六将之人；他是明知鸿门宴，也单刀赴会，毫发无伤，亲握鲁肃之人。

 

His enemies, the country of Wu, is led by Sun Ch’uan and his adviser Lü Meng. They have devised a ploy to make Kuan Yu’s entire troop defect to Wu.

Their plans are working out fine for them, but I’m still comfortable in my chair knowing that Kuan Yu is worth a thousand soldiers.

敌国吴国由孙权统领，谋臣吕蒙辅佐，二人合谋使关羽全军变节降吴。他们计划奏效，但我依然舒服地窝在椅子上，心知关羽一人胜千军。

 

However, to hold a city you’ll need more men and resources than they have. They decide to retreat by a certain path leading out of the castle. “Wang Fu opposed it, pointing out that they would surely fall into an ambush. The main road would be safer. ‘There may be an ambush, but do I fear that?’ said the old warrior. Orders were given to be ready to march.” I lift my eyes from the page and smile. You have to love a great hero that knows that he’s a great hero.

然而想守住城，你要有比对方更充足的兵马和粮草。他们决定从北门撤退，沿小路至西川。“王甫谏曰：’小路有埋伏，可走大路。’公曰：’虽有埋伏，吾何惧哉！’即下令马步官军：严整装束，准备出城。”眼睛移开书本，我微微一笑，那种深知自己是英雄的大英雄，让你不得不爱。

 

 

After a couple of laughs I continue my reading, and guess what, they’ve gotten ambushed. “Soon appeared a large force with Chu Jan at their head. He came dashing forward, and summoned the small party to surrender if they would save their lives. But Kuan Yu whipped his steed to a gallop and bore down on the leader with anger in his eyes. Then Chu Jan ran away.”

我笑了几声后继续往下读，你猜怎么着，他们中了伏。“……一彪军到，为首大将朱然，骤马挺枪叫曰：’云长休走！趁早投降，免得一死！’公大怒，拍马轮刀来战。朱然便走……”

 

“Smart man,” I think to myself. Another small fit of laughter escapes me. What is Wu thinking? You can’t capture or kill the great Kuan Yu, you can only hope that you’re not the one in his path. Lifting my eyes from the pages, I look at the light bulbs.

聪明人，我心想，又不禁笑了出来。吴国在想什么？你擒不得也杀不得关羽大人，只能希望自己不是挡路之人。我把视线从书上移开，盯着灯泡。

 

I love doing this in this room, because these light-bulbs don’t give me that “sun-spot” in the middle of my vision, so I just get the warm feelings that brightness give. I roll my shoulder in its socket just to stretch it out a little bit. I shift some in my seat because my legs are getting a little numb. Returning my eyes to the page, I’m trying to see if I was right about the lack of “sun-spot.” Yep, I’m right, no “sun-spot.”

我喜欢在这个房间盯着灯瞧，因为这些灯在看东西时候不会有那种黑影，灯光给人暖暖的感觉。我转转肩膀，想稍稍舒展一下，然后在椅子上挪了挪，腿要麻了。视线落回书上，想看看是不是真没有黑影，嗯，我是对的，没黑影。

 

 

 

Another ambush by another captain, and another captain flees from Kuan Yu. I start shaking my head thinking about the stupid persistence of Wu generals. Seriously, why would you engage someone in battle if you were just going to run away? “It doesn’t matter,” I say to myself, “just read.” “Presently the small party stumbled into another ambush, and the men thrust forth hooks and threw ropes. Entangled in these, Kuan Yu’s horse fell, and Kuan Yu reeled out of the saddle.” “This can’t be good,” is frantically repeating through my head. “In a moment he was a prisoner.”

接着又中了另一位大将的伏击（注：潘璋），这位依然败于关羽而遁走。想到吴国将领们愚蠢的坚持，我开始摇头。说真的，如果你只是一味逃走，那为何还要与其交战？无所谓，我心想，继续看。“正走之间，一声喊起，两下伏兵尽出，长钩套索一齐并举， 先把关公坐下马绊倒。关公翻身落马……”我脑子里疯了一般重复着不妙二字，转眼间他就成了阶下囚。

 

But at least he’s still alive. As long as the great Kuan Yu is alive, there is nothing to fear. I’ve noticed that my leg is twitching, and that nice comfortable warmth has turned into humid heat. I feel itchy all over. I start scratching my ears; they’re itching the worst. I pull my hat off and rub my hair, pulling the hat back over my head very tightly. The air is way too sticky, and I can’t seem to get a breath of fresh air. I cover my mouth with my left fist, and cough a little bit.

但至少他还活着，只要关羽大人还活着，就没什么好怕的。我意识到腿在打颤，之前觉得舒适暖和，现在变得又湿又热。感到浑身发痒，我挠起了耳朵，奇痒无比，然后把帽子一摘搓头发，重新戴回去，紧紧地压了压。空气异常闷热，我快透不过气了，左拳挡住嘴，轻咳几下。

 

 

Sitting up straight in the chair and staring fiercely at the pages I start reading quickly. The generals of Wu have brought Kuan Yu before Sun Ch’uan. Sun Ch’uan asks him to switch sides to Wu. “But Kuan Yu only answered roughly, ‘You green-eyed boy! You red-bearded rat!’” I’m thinking “Ahhh… this is where the great Kuan Yu is going to slaughter everybody in the room, whether he’s bound or not!”

在椅子上直起身，我死死盯着书页，飞速往下读。吴国将领（注：马忠）把关公带至孙权面前，孙权要他加入吴国阵营，但“关公厉声骂曰：’碧眼小儿， 紫髯鼠辈!’”我心想不管有没有被绑起来，关羽大人会将屋内之人屠杀殆尽。

 

One of Sun Ch’uan’s generals says that evil will come if they spare Kuan Yu. “Sun Ch’uan reflected for some time. ‘You are right,’ said he presently,and gave the order for execution.” “This can’t be!” My mind is frantic; they’ve just executed the invincible Kuan Yu. His death was at the hands of men that combined couldn’t exist as the great Kuan Yu’s pinkie-finger.

孙权一位部下（注：左咸，孙权主簿）说若不除关羽后患无穷，“孙权沉吟半晌曰：’斯言是也。’遂命推出……”这不可能！！我慌了，他们杀掉了无敌的关羽，死在了这群加起来都不及他一根小指的人手上。

 

I stand up in haste, throwing the book to the floor, shove my feet into my shoes without tying them, and then walk out into the rain. It’s pitch-dark outside. It’s cold. I look up and try to see the moon. There is no moon. There aren’t even any stars out tonight, just the rain. I’m looking around for some form of celestial light, but all that I can see is one flickering light bulb. How is this one light bulb going to brighten the darkness?

我急忙站了起来，书扔到地上，脚踩进鞋里，没绑鞋带，出了房门站在雨中。外面一片漆黑，冷飕飕的，抬头想看看月亮，却看不到，今晚甚至都没几颗星星，只有这场雨。我环顾四周，搜寻着，随便天上什么光都好，但只看见一盏闪烁不定的灯。一盏灯又如何照亮这黑暗？

 

I’m shivering, I’m soaked, and I need a cigarette. I pull my pack out of my pocket and grab one. It’s been out of the box for like two-goddamn-seconds and it’s already wet. I’m looking down as I’m lighting it, cupping my hand around the lighter so that the wind and the rain don’t extinguish it. I can see the wet blacktop. The water passing over it is the blackest thing that I’ve ever seen. To me it seems like emptiness in motion, this black-liquid coming from nowhere, heading nowhere, and washing away whatever it can find.

我浑身发抖，被雨淋个透，要吸支烟，从兜里掏出烟盒，拿出一支，掏出来特么也就两秒钟功夫，烟湿了。点烟的时候，朝下面看了看，手拢住打火机，就不会被吹灭浇灭了。能瞧见湿漉漉的柏油路面，上面流过的水，是我见过最黑的东西。于我而言，这股黑水像是流动着的空虚，无源无汇。无论何物，给它发现了，就会被冲走。

 

I find that my imagination has been washed away. I’m trying to think. About Kuan Yu, about my life, about anything. Nothing is coming to mind. There is a black void where all of my fancies and aspirations of greatness used to fill. This is uncomfortable. For the past three-weeks my imagination has been running loose. Everything I’ve thought about or thought-up has been wild and epic; I was plotting world-domination schemes and ways to restore the chaotic order of great Kuan Yu’s time.

我感觉我的想象力也一并被冲走了，我努力去思考，思考关羽，思考我的人生，思考任何东西，却什么也想不出来。那处满载着我对伟大的幻想与渴望，现已被掏空，不爽。过去的三周，我任由想象驰骋，所回想或构想之物，不羁而宏大。我谋划着统治世界的方案，恢复关羽大人那个时代的混序。

 

Now it feels like there is no point to having great fantasies, or to become great at all. The greatest hero this world has ever known met an ignoble end at the hands of inferior men. Reading about this man’s life had given me hope that greatness would resound through history. He’s in books, movies, and video games; but none of it matters. His life was washed away, leaving me feeling empty. The cigarette is done, the end is still glowing but there’s not much more to smoke. I drop it on the wet blacktop and hear the hiss of the embers being extinguished. The cigarette-butt starts washing away. There is a poem in this novel that keeps resounding in my head. Normally, I’d be able to visualize what it says, but now I can only remember the words and can’t see the dragon or the phoenix. “The dragon in a puddle is the sport of shrimps, the phoenix in a cage is mocked of small birds.”

我现在的感觉就是幻想伟大毫无意义，或者说根本没必要成为伟大之人。有史以来最伟大的英雄遭小人之手，死得卑微。读了关羽生平后，给了我一种伟大是可以名留青史的希望。书里有他，电影里有他，游戏里也有他，但都毫无意义。他这一生已被冲走，只留给我空虚之感。烟抽完了，烟头还发着光，但也抽不了几口了，扔在湿马路上，听到了余烬熄灭时发出的“嘶嘶”声，烟蒂也开始被冲走了。书中有首诗一直在我脑内回响，通常我会对文字有画面感，但现在只能记起诗句，龙也好凤也罢，我看不到。“龙困浅滩被虾戏，落地的凤凰不如鸡。”

 

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p.s. 翻译到一半才发现有人已经翻译完了，但是不想半途而废，还是发出来了。

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