『中篇故事・2ch』闲暇无事，要听听我的恋爱故事吗？（五）

引用元： http://boonscanlations.blogspot.com/

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闲暇无事，要听听我的恋爱故事吗？（五）

I don’t have anything to do. Will you listen to my love story?

2ch原串：「暇だから、過去の恋愛話でも聞いてくれないか」

 

BGM：

“绵云缓缓驶过边界”

“予风拂过这檐边树茧”

“嘴边细数着石边落叶 ”

“盈满甜言”

星尘 乐正绫 -《雨边》 by REMIDO et al.

 

341： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 19:57:44.92 ID:BeDcEal20

I’m going to move into my new home soon and stumbled on my diary while packing my stuff together.

I only kept diary back then to make notes for myself, but reading the entries made me remember how I felt at that time and I suddenly felt like starting a thread about it.

我们计划在不久后搬到新居。就在整理杂物的时候偶然发现了过去的日记。

我有记录生活的习惯。现在重新拂过这些纸页，我们恋爱的场景都历历在目，一一细数。突然间就涌上了一股冲动，想在这里把故事写下来。

 

CanBadge and I still go to Akihabara together regularly. Even at this moment, CanBadge is hanging around in Akihabarawwwwww I couldn’t go with him because I’m not feeling too well todaywwww

小徽章和我保留了定期游访秋叶原的习惯。其实他现在就在秋叶原闲逛呢wwww今天身体不太舒服所以没能陪他一起。

 

Thank you all for reading my overly long story!!!

谢谢你们愿意听我讲述这长长的恋爱故事！

 

342： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 19:58:06.19 ID:cASi4V3qO

Reading your story made me feel warm inside.

– A housewive in Saitama.

很暖心的故事。by埼玉县的家庭主妇。

 

344： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 19:58:38.22 ID:dkv8++7rO

>>1

Congratswww

A perfect story for Couple’s Day.

>>1祝福wwww

是个适合今天的绝佳故事。

二月二日是日本的节分，素有豆まき(mamemaki)之类祝福新婚夫妇的习俗。

 

350： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 19:59:37.59 ID:N/MChVv0O

Holy shit! Congratulations on your marriage!!

一嘴狗粮！新婚快乐！

 

351： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:00:03.53 ID:pMKcE9Qg0

>>1 Congrats on your marriage!

May you two be happy forever!w

新婚快乐！永远幸福！w

 

367： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:06:46.50 ID:DMEuIL23O

I… I’m not even jelly.

才…才没有嫉妒呢…

 

345： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 19:58:45.95 ID:JfuzZ3qW0

If you still have some time, let’s go for a question timewww

How many years have you been together now?

如果>>1还在的话，让我们进入提问环节吧。

你们俩在一起多久了？

 

346： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 19:59:09.69 ID:8LRiFZnK0

>>341

You’re not feeling well? Wait, is it a shotgun wedding?

>>341

不舒服？等等…难道是因为怀孕了才结婚的？

 

358： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:03:11.09 ID:BeDcEal20

>>345

We started dating about half a year after we first met, so I guess, we’ve been seeing each other for, what, 4 years? 3 years? I’m not really sure anymore with the new year and everything.

>>345

我们认识大约一年的时候开始约会的，到现在大概有三年了？或者是四年？一旦牵涉到新年，我总是算不清楚日子。

 

Since we’re in VIP, we might as well do something VIP-like and decide by post numbers what I’ll write to CanBadge next or something.

By the way, it’s not a shotgun wedding… but whether I’m pregnant… you never know. >>346

既然是在VIP，就做点VIP的事情吧。来安价要回复给小徽章的短信内容！

顺便一提，我们不是因为怀孕才不得不结婚的。不过至于我怀孕了没有嘛…才不告诉你们呢。>>346

 

353： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:00:24.04 ID:w56uvgNf0

Congratz!

I can see a bunch of VIPPERs lingering around in that park in Akihabara tomorrow.

祝福！

我已经预料到，明天秋叶原前的那个公园要挤满慕名拜访的阿宅了。

 

361： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:04:50.65 ID:DMEuIL23O

I think I’ll go buy can badges tomorrow.

不，明天我会先去买角色徽章。

 

363： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:05:29.95 ID:BeDcEal20

Oh yeah, I lied when I wrote I don’t know CanBadge’s agewwwwwww

He’s turning 29 today.

对了，还有件事。说不知道小徽章年龄时我撒谎了。

他今天29岁了。

 

382： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:18:34.05 ID:E1ZbshCcO

Guess you never know where you might run into the love of your life.

Thanks for giving me hope, >>1!

Congratulations!!

生活真是充满惊喜。昔日偶然邂逅的玩伴，不经意间竟与你期许终生。

谢谢你给我希望，>>1!

祝你幸福！

 

386： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:19:30.39 ID:pMKcE9Qg0

>>382

Yeah, seriouslyw Some guy calls out to you on the street and a few years later, you’re married to himwww

>>382

再看看一开始小徽章凑上来对话的场景真是感慨万千啊wwww

 

365： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:06:13.92 ID:7FHWXsEn0

Does CanBadge even have a job?

小徽章是做什么的？等一下…他有工作吧…？

 

366： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:06:22.60 ID:eDVRxafC0

Tell us more about how you and Canbadge spent that Christmas.

再说说你们圣诞节的故事吧。

 

374： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:10:41.40 ID:BeDcEal20

>>365

Yeah, he has a job. He makes games.

>>365他有工作，他制作游戏。

 

>>366

Christmas with CanBadge was a nightmare. Looks like he’s drinking with his friends again and they won’t let him go.

>>366

和小徽章一起过圣诞节简直是噩梦。他先去和朋友们聚餐，结果没法脱身。

 

As it turned out, CanBadge had reserved a table at a pretty neat restaurant and even prepared a present for me after all.

So far, so good. Very good, actually, until he went and lost his wallet. He hadn’t worn that suit of his for such a long time that its pockets were riddled with moth holeswwwwww

圣诞节那天，小徽章其实预定了气氛很好的餐馆，也给我准备了礼物。到这里为止都很完美。

对，直到这里为止。

在餐馆吃饭间，小徽章突然意识到他丢了钱包。因为有一阵子没穿过那件大衣了，连破了口袋也没注意到www

 

According to him, he had quite a lot of money with him, so we hurried to the police station, then looked for it everywhere. We also had to cancel his credit card. So CanBadge didn’t get to lose his virginity on Christmas Day. It was the last thing on our minds on that day.

钱包里现金的数量还不少。所以我们丢下食物匆忙前往警局报案，然后开始四处寻找。我们还不得不冻结他的信用卡。

因为这件事，小徽章没有在圣诞节失去他的第一次。

 

370： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:08:13.23 ID:IuIgaYEJO

Who proposed, you or him?

It’s quite endearing to imagine CanBadge proposing to someone.

谁求的婚，你还是他？

小徽章求婚的样子肯定讨人喜欢。

 

377： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:14:54.50 ID:BeDcEal20

Wow, thanks so much for all the congratulations.

CanBadge and I don’t have many relatives since I don’t have any parents and CanBadge doesn’t have a father. A wedding ceremony is out of the question too. So this might be the first time I got so many congratulatory messageswwwww I’m so happy right now.

哇！谢谢大家的祝福！

我父母已经不在了，小徽章的父亲也去世了，我们没能举办盛大的结婚典礼。收到这么多祝福可能还是我第一次wwww真开心啊wwww

 

>>370

I did.

When I proposed, he just stood there looking flabbergasted. I asked him “Yes or no?” and he answered “Yes.” in a squeaky voice. I remember thinking “He’s so cutewwwww”.

>>370

是我求的婚。

那时候，他就呆站在那儿，又一次目瞪口呆。

“愿意还是不愿意？”

他回答愿意的声调奇怪到刺耳，真是可爱。

 

379： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:16:40.09 ID:eDVRxafC0

CanBadge is so moe if you think of him as a girl.

如果你把小徽章当成女孩的话，整个故事毫无违和感。

 

380： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:17:39.20 ID:DMEuIL23O

>>379

>>1 is quite moe too, e.g. when she was talking to CanBadge with tears in her eyesww

>>379

>>1也很萌啊，比如因为小徽章的话泪珠在眼睛里打转的时候。

 

381： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:18:08.61 ID:BeDcEal20

Looks like I got some more time left. And I don’t have anything to do now that my savegame is gone. I haven’t replied to CanBadge’s e-mail yet, so let’s decide by post number what to reply.

看上去离他回来还有点时间，加上刚通关了gal稍稍有点闲暇。我还没回小徽章的邮件，来安价决定吧。

 

385： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:19:00.43 ID:Xu8xqyM50

Let’s do it! Let’s do it!

来来来！

 

387： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:20:18.47 ID:BeDcEal20

Okay, let’s do this!

安价！

 

CanBadge’s e-mail: “Sorry, I just ran into Mr. XXX, can I go for a drink with him? I’m sorry I can’t be back on time.”

小徽章的信息：“刚刚遇到了XXX，和他去喝一杯你不介意吧？抱歉要回来晚一点了。”

 

>>390 decides what I’ll reply.

回复@>>390

 

390： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:21:04.68 ID:DMEuIL23O

“I just finished preparing the divorce papers. <3”

“没问题，离婚协议已经写好了。<3”

 

392： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:21:25.08 ID:8LRiFZnK0

“I won’t forget it after all!”

“我绝对不会忘记这件事的！”

 

394： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:22:12.95 ID:BeDcEal20

>>390

Nice. It’s perfect since CanBadge is the type of guys who can take a joke or two.

Sent.

>>390

干得漂亮。幸好小徽章是那种开得起玩笑的家伙。

发送完毕。

 

397： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:24:12.73 ID:DMEuIL23O

I can’t wait to see what he replieswww

怎么回复的怎么回复的wwww等不及了

 

398： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:25:34.06 ID:BeDcEal20

He repliedwwwww

他回复了wwwwww

 

“Be home soon but here Nakano one and a half hours sorry”

“马上回去但是Nakano这儿一个半小时抱歉抱歉”

 

Looks like it gave him a good scarewwwwww What a mess of a sentence.

好像被吓倒了wwwww话都说不通顺了wwwww

 

399： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:26:26.53 ID:Xu8xqyM50

He freaked outwwwww

吓破胆wwww

 

400： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:26:31.37 ID:eDVRxafC0

What the hell does “but here Nakano” mean?www

“但是Nakano这儿一个半小时”究竟在说什么？wwww

 

405： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:27:53.78 ID:BeDcEal20

>>400

Here’s what he means:

“I’m in Nakano and I’d love to go home right away, but it’ll take at least one and a half hours from here.

Please give me a bit more time. I’m very sorry.”

>>400

短信的意思是这样的：

“现在在Nakano，我也想马上到家，但是视交通状况而言，至少要一个半小时。再等我一会，真的很抱歉。”

 

Guess making you guys decide what to reply wasn’t a good idea after all. He seems to think I’m seriously considering a divorcewwwww

安价回复大概不是个好主意。他把离婚的事当真了wwww

 

409： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:29:03.14 ID:pMKcE9Qg0

>>405

Holy shitwww She can translate it to normal Japanesewwwww

>>405

什么www她竟然能把短信翻译成日语wwww

 

408： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:29:00.59 ID:BeDcEal20

I seriously don’t have anything to do and the thread isn’t even half over yet, so I’ll just write some more. Any requests?

确实目前没什么事做，而且故事还没说完呢，让我们来继续吧。

有特别想听的部分吗？

 

412： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:30:59.53 ID:eDVRxafC0

>>408

CanBadge didn’t introduce that programmer friend of his to you after all, did he? Was it on purpose?

>>408

小徽章根本就没有要介绍给你的程序员朋友，他故意那么说的，对不对？

 

420： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:34:52.09 ID:BeDcEal20

>>412

No, it seems like he was really planning on introducing him to me. Actually, I asked him when he fell in love with me. What do you think he said? “After you said you love me”wwww Like “Oh, you love me? Okay, then I love you too!”. It’s almost as if he could fall in love with anyone that loves him.

>>412

不是，他好像还真想把某人介绍给我。

交往后我问过他，“你什么时候喜欢上我的”？你们知道他怎么回答的吗？

“在你向我表白以后。”

就像是“原来你喜欢我啊，好，那我也喜欢你！”这种感觉。只要是喜欢他的人，无论是谁都行。

 

416： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:32:51.24 ID:AIYGgWugO

I’m more interested in how CanBadge lost his virginity.

我对小徽章的第一次更感兴趣。

 

417： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:33:22.22 ID:HVUn4z/bO

What’s on the birthday menu today?

今天生日宴上准备了什么？

 

423： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:38:43.43 ID:DMEuIL23O

You said CanBadge can take a joke or two, but he didn’t even get that your e-mail was a jokew

Did you explain it to him?w

你还说小徽章开得起玩笑，结果他并没把你的信息当作玩笑www

赶快和他解释下吧w

 

424： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:39:17.65 ID:BeDcEal20

>>416

Well, I basically raped him. What was I supposed to do? We’d been dating for a whole year without him trying anything on me.

>>416

呃，基本是我强上的。还能怎么办？我们都约会一年了，他还不敢对我出手。

 

>>417

No, we’ll both have had dinner when he comes back, so we’ll probably just have a small celebration with a bottle of liquor. There’ll be no cake either since we both don’t like sweet stuff.

>>417

没有啦，因为我们都已经吃过了，所以只是开几瓶酒庆祝一下。

因为我们都不是甜党所以也没有蛋糕。

 

>>423

Nopewwwwww I’ll do it now.

>>423

有道理wwwww现在发条信息解释一下

 

427： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:42:04.18 ID:eDVRxafC0

>>420

You sure he wasn’t just trying to hide his embarrassment?

When you saw him after a long time, he asked you if you have a boyfriend.

Then he was worried about you and the Prez going home together.

He even pretended the League of Voluntarily Single Gentlemen didn’t exist.

Reading the whole thing again, I’m pretty sure he liked you from the startwww

>>420

你确定不是因为他太害羞了吗？

成为聊天伙伴后，他问过你有没有男朋友。

你和总统一起回家的时候，他非常担心。

他甚至撒谎否认单身运动存在。

重读了一遍你们的故事，我倒觉得他从一开始就喜欢上你了wwwww

 

432： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:45:38.33 ID:BeDcEal20

>>427

You might be right. Hmm… even so, it must have been on a subconscious level because he seriously had no clue what love is at first.

>>427

也许是这样。嗯…即使这样，那种感情也是潜意识的。那时候他都不知道喜欢这个词怎么写。

 

439： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:56:33.30 ID:BeDcEal20

Wow, so many congratulationswwwwwwww Sorry, I was watching videos on niconico out of boredomwwwwww I’m quite drunk toowwwwww

哇，满满的祝福wwwww有点无聊一边在nico上看视频wwwww好像有点喝多了wwwww

 

460： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:14:08.60 ID:DMEuIL23O

Drunk? You mean, drunk in love with CanBadge?w

喝醉了？你是说，醉倒在小徽章的爱意里了吗？w

 

462： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:16:52.03 ID:BeDcEal20

>>460

Idiotwwwwwww

>>460

傻瓜wwwwwww

 

440： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:57:33.32 ID:D6DPgtq1O

Who do you look like, 1?

你看上去像哪个明星，>>1?

 

444： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:59:18.32 ID:BeDcEal20

>>440

A lot like a slime from Dragon Quest. Apparently, I have eyes like a slime’s (according to CanBadge).

勇者斗恶龙里的史莱姆吧，尤其是眼睛那儿。(小徽章说的。

 

451： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:06:05.82 ID:D6DPgtq1O

>>444

She could be unexpectedly cute then!

>>444

有可能出乎我们的意料，>>1可爱到无法言说！

 

454： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:09:09.62 ID:BeDcEal20

>>451

What do you mean, “unexpectedly”!?wwwwwwww

>>451

出乎意料这个词是什么意思wwwwwwww

 

445： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:00:31.11 ID:DMEuIL23O

A slimewwwwwww

史莱姆wwwww

 

449： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:04:36.16 ID:BeDcEal20

>>445->>446

I mean, when someone says they look like a certain celebrity, you can’t really trust them in most cases anyway. Even if everyone else told me I look like some celebrity, as long as CanBadge says I look like a slime, then I look like a slime.

>>445->>446

要是别人说你像某个明星，一般都不会当真的。而且，就算大家都觉得我像明星，只要小徽章坚持我像史莱姆，我就是史莱姆。

 

443： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 20:59:15.50 ID:M9uC2fyt0

Why do women play eroge?

Because of the story? Yuri? Or do they want to know what guys are interested in?

女孩子玩gal的理由是什么？

情节吸引人？喜欢百合？或者是想了解男生感兴趣的东西？

 

447： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:02:54.90 ID:BeDcEal20

>>443

To shlick to them. Also because of the cute girls. But I’m not interested in 3D girls. 2D girls only. Guess I play them for about the same reasons as you guys.

>>443

生理需要，而且女角色都很萌。我也只对二次元女孩感兴趣。

跟你们玩gal的理由差不多。

 

448： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:04:12.87 ID:M9uC2fyt0

>>447

Is that right?wwww

Isn’t it awkward to play eroge together with CanBadge?ww

>>447

是这样吗wwww

和小徽章一起玩gal不是超尴尬的wwww

 

453： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:06:57.85 ID:BeDcEal20

>>448

It was awkward when we’d just began dating. Or well, it seemed to be awkward for CanBadge and not so much for mewwwww

>>448

刚开始交往的时候确实如此。小徽章那边好像更尴尬一点wwwwww

 

He later told me that there was a time when he used to think sex was some sort of urban legend or something. So he was trying to avoid situations that could lead to that oh so mysterious thing called sex. Which is basically why it took him more than a year to lose his virginitywwwwww

他告诉我刚开始约会那时他一直以为OOXX是都市传说什么的，所以全力避开会导致那个神秘的OOXX的展开。

所以我们花了一年多才有了第一次。

 

452： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:06:50.93 ID:DMEuIL23O

>>449

You sound like you’re madly in love with himw I’m so jellywww

Has CanBadge become a bit more fashionable since then?w

>>449

听上去你喜欢小徽章的程度有这么深w羡慕死了wwww

自那以来小徽章有变得时尚一点吗？w

 

454： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:09:09.62 ID:BeDcEal20

>>452

He did try to give himself a makeover once. But it led to him becoming kinda popular with the ladies, so he quickly went back to his normal otaku clothes. He was saying “Being popular is scary…” or somethingwwwwwww

>>452

他确实有努力过。不过正因为此，那时他变得很受女生欢迎，于是他迅速回到了宅宅的状态。

“受欢迎好可怕…”，他曾经这么感慨wwwww

 

456： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:10:54.67 ID:DMEuIL23O

Does that mean CanBadge is actually pretty handsome or what?wwwww

小徽章原来是帅哥啊！？wwww

 

458： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:12:40.55 ID:BeDcEal20

>>456

I can assure you, he’s in no way handsome.

>>456

向你保证，从哪个角度看，他都和英俊这个词无关。

 

459： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:13:44.85 ID:k4LLVlsjO

How many babies are you planning on having with CanBadge?

你们打算要几个孩子？

 

462： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:16:52.03 ID:BeDcEal20

>>459

Two, I think. I want to have them asap.

>>459

两个吧，大概。我想马上就见到他/她们。

 

470： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:21:23.63 ID:S3gjkj9TO

I’VE CAUGHT UUUUPP!!

>>1 CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m feeling happy now too for some reason.

May you be happy with CanBadge forever!!!!

Am I the only one who wants to hear more episodes from the adventures of >>1 and CanBadge?

They make me grin more like an idiot!

终于追上了！！！！！！！！

虽然说不上原因，但我现在感觉非常非常开心。希望你和小徽章永远快乐！！>>1！

只有我一个人想听更多>>1和小徽章的冒险故事吗？让我笑起来像个傻瓜的那种！

 

477： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:26:50.75 ID:BeDcEal20

>>470

There are only a few episodes left though. Which one would you guys like? They’re all pretty short.

– CanBadge’s first time and (his masochistic awakening)

– Gabrin’s gay cruising spot

– The Prez’ four-tatami home

>>470

故事还剩下最后几个。你们想听哪一段？这几个都不算长。

-小徽章的第一次(以及受属性觉醒

-加布林喜欢的是男孩子

-总统四榻榻米大小的房间

 

479： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:27:33.28 ID:M9uC2fyt0

>>477

Oh God, I can’t decidewwwwwwwwww

这个选择太艰难了wwwwwwwwwww

 

482： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:30:08.66 ID:JfuzZ3qW0

>>477

They all seem so intriguingwwww

所有选项都很有意思wwww

 

480： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:29:23.56 ID:eDVRxafC0

>>477

All of them pleasewww

所有的，拜托了www

 

492： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:35:31.31 ID:BeDcEal20

Well, I don’t think I should drag it all out again, so I’ll just outline them. Let me start from the bottom up.

不太想全部详细写下来了，就在这里列个提纲吧。从最后一个开始。

 

About the Prez:

– When CanBadge and I’d been dating for a while, the Prez invited us over to his place.

– He’d kept bragging about his room, so I expected some kind of luxury apartment, but it turned out to be a tiny four-tatami room.

– On entering the room, we were first greeted by a cockroach.

– There was a PC, a TV and… another PC, as if it wasn’t cramped enoughwwwwww

– He said “Real otaku don’t waste any money on rent.”.

– According to him, real otaku spend money on electronic goods.

– But his PCs were both running Windows 2000.

关于总统：

小徽章和我交往之后，总统邀请我们去家里玩。

总统每天都在炫耀自己的家居，让我一直以为他有间豪宅，结果发现是间小小的四榻榻米房间。

一进门，我们就被小强欢迎了。

房间里有一台电脑，一台电视，和…另一台电脑，就像还不够挤似的wwwwww

总统说 ：“真正的宅不会在租房上浪费一分钱，钱只会花在电子产品上”。

那你的电脑为什么还在跑Windows 2000啦www

 

– By the way, I got an e-mail from the Prez a while ago today

– I thought it might be a congratulatory e-mail, but it was a mistaken e-mail.

– What’s more, it said “Know any fapworty JAV?”.

– When I replied “You sure you meant to send that to me?”, I promptly got another e-mail from him saying “Please pretend you never got that mail.”.

顺便一提，今天早些时候我收到了总统的消息。

我还以为会是祝贺，结果只是发错了地址。

内容是“知道哪儿能找到fapworty AV吗？”

我刚准备回复“你确定要跟我讨论这个？”，就收到了他匆匆发来的道歉“拜托了，就当没看到吧。”

 

494： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:36:49.64 ID:M9uC2fyt0

The Prezwwwwwwwwww

Can’t believe he’s a Windows ME userwwwww

总统wwwww

不敢相信你还是个Windows ME用户wwww

 

495： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:37:08.17 ID:JfuzZ3qW0

If I were to appear in >>1’s story, I’d be playing the Prez’ part without a doubtwwwwwwwwww

要是我出现在>>1的故事中，扮演的毫无疑问是总统这样的角色wwwww

 

497： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:41:01.84 ID:KNPJw6X+O

>>492

So the Prez IS interested in 3DPDwww

所以总统还是对三次元感兴趣的嘛wwww

 

498： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:42:43.22 ID:BeDcEal20

Gabrin’s gay cruising spot:

加布林喜欢的是男孩子篇：

 

– Gabrin, CanBadge, a female friend of mine and I were out drinking.

– My friend asked Gabrin what type of person he likes.

– He answered “Hmm… I’m into the short and chubby type.”

– He also explained that he likes older people. Someone who’s 10 years older than him would be perfect.

– My friend who was interested in Gabrin was like orz (because she’s younger than him).

有一次，加布林，我的某个女性朋友，还有小徽章和我一起聚餐。

我的朋友问加布林喜欢哪种类型的女孩。

“小小的、圆圆的那种吧”。

他还解释说喜欢年长的，能大他十岁的就最完美了。

本来，我的朋友还对他挺有好感的，听到这一脸orz的表情（她比加布林年轻

 

– Gabrin said he was still single though.

– Which was a little strange because he’s actually quite handsome.

– While I was wondering about that, CanBadge told me that we shouldn’t talk to Gabrin about girls.

– I heard there’s an unusually high percentage of gay men in the fashion industry, so I guess Gabrin happened to be just one of them.

– That means, Gabrin is looking for short and chubby GUYS of about 40 years of age.

– Any candidates here? (Guys only)

加布林说他还是单身。

考虑到他挺英俊，这点令人奇怪。

胡思乱想间，小徽章凑过来告诉我不该在加布林面前讨论女孩子。

听说服装业人群里男同性恋的比例高得超乎寻常，我猜加布林正是其中一例。

总结一下就是，加布林在找40岁左右矮矮胖胖的男性伴侣。

这里有感兴趣的吗？（男性限定）

 

500： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:44:35.35 ID:CAtty5w1O

No, thankswww

不，请容我拒绝www

 

502： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:44:49.82 ID:M9uC2fyt0

>>498

Why did Gabrin give you his business card when you first met anyway?

>>498

话说回来加布林第一次见面给你打折卡的时候，就没有什么特别的理由吗？

 

503： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:47:06.58 ID:k4LLVlsjO

Where did he get the nickname Gabrin from?

加布林这个昵称的由来是什么？

 

510： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:54:53.17 ID:BeDcEal20

>>502

It’s just my guess, but I think all he wanted was attract a new customer. I heard the clothing store wasn’t doing so well at that time and he’s the store manager after all.

>>502

这只是猜测，我觉得只是因为想招揽新顾客。那个时候好像店里生意不太好，他毕竟是商店经理嘛。

 

>>503

There’s a handsome guy called “Gabriel” in the anime “I’m Gonna Be An Angel!” and his nickname happens to be “Gabrin”. The reason they call him Gabrin is because he resembles that character. Or so CanBadge said.

By the way, my nickname was Slutch. Because I look like a slime.

>>503

在《天使不设防！》 里有个帅气的叫Gabriel/ガブリエル的角色，他的昵称正好是加布林。加布林简直就是那个角色的翻版，小徽章是这么说的。

 

504： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:47:34.22 ID:JfuzZ3qW0

If I were to appear in >>1’s story, I’d be the one to take it in the ass by Gabrin without a doubtwwwwww

要是我出现在>>1的故事中，扮演的毫无疑问是拿下加布林屁股的这样的角色wwwww

 

505： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:48:58.32 ID:BeDcEal20

Well, here’s the last one. The one about CanBadge’s first time:

As I already mentioned, CanBadge didn’t try anything on me for a whole year since we started dating.

I was living alone, so I kept inviting him over frequently.

然后是最后一个，小徽章的第一次：

前面已经提及，交往一年多小徽章都没对我出过手。

由于一个人住，所以我频繁地邀请小徽章到家里来。

 

When he came to my place the first time, he froze the moment he entered my room and saw my bed. I used to live in a one-room apartment back then and the first thing you see, when you come in, just so happens to be the bed.

It was about two weeks after Christmas, I think. Well, not long after New Year’s in any case.

他第一次进我房间，看到床的瞬间就定在了那里。这不是我故意的，是因为旧式的一居室公寓是床正对着门的结构。

那好像是圣诞节的两周后，总之新年刚过去不久。

 

We didn’t know what to do at first. Thinking I could get him to loosen up, I suggested playing an eroge together, but he said he wasn’t in the moodwwwwww

So we played Metroid instead and watched anime together. I also made dinner for him which he ate.

他看上去过于拘谨，所以我决定先让他轻松下来。我提议了一起打gal，他却说没那个心情wwwwww

所以我们玩起了银河战士，看起了动画。我还特别做了他不挑食的晚饭。

 

The thing is, however, before we even got to the point of doing it or not, CanBadge started saying “I gotta go home. I gotta go home”.

But when I asked him if he’s in a hurry for something, he was like “No, I am not.”.

I knew CanBadge wasn’t his usual self because he always switches to formal speech when he’s disturbed.

可是最关键的问题是，我们连暧昧的那个点都没到，小徽章就开始嘀咕：“我要回家我要回家我要回家…”

我问他是不是有急事的时候，他却忙不迭地矢口否认：“不，其实不是这样的。”

这模样绝对不正常。只有慌张的时候他才会用这么正式的口吻说话。

 

507： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:50:39.01 ID:DMEuIL23O

>>505

Of all the things you could do together, why would you suggest playing an eroge?wwwwww

>>505

那么多能一起做的事情，你为什么非要建议玩gal啦wwwwwww

 

508： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:50:41.06 ID:Dtqy99Hr0

It’s cute how serious CanBadge is, almost to a faultwww

小徽章认真的样子也好可爱啊wwww 就像犯了错误一样wwww

 

510： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:54:53.17 ID:BeDcEal20

“What is it? Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“Do you want to go home? Then feel free to go home.”

“No, I’ll stay a bit longer.”

Still, something was obviously troubling him because he kept saying “Hmm… But…”. But since I couldn’t get it out of him, I decided to just ignore it. I was sure he’d go home when he felt like it.

“你还好吗？发生什么事了？”

“不，没有什么事情发生。我很好，非常好。”

“你想回家吗？不要紧的，下次再约吧。”

“不不不，我还想在这里再待一会儿。”

尽管他这么回答了，还是有什么地方不太对劲，因为他又开始嘟囔“但是…但是…”了。

我不能理解他在说些什么，只好决定忽视掉。他想回家的时候自然就会离开的吧。

 

Oh yeah, one more thing. Before we started dating, or rather, before I confessed my feelings to him, he used to tell me stuff like “I fapped to that character yesterdaywwwwwww It was awesomewwwwww” all the time, but not after that.

Until he stopped talking to me about eroge altogether.

哦，对了，还有件事。在我们开始交往之前，比告白还要早的时候，他满嘴都是“昨晚我拿那个角色XX了wwwww那爽爆了wwww”之类的。

那之后不知不觉间再也没有过了，他开始拒绝和我一起讨论gal里H的事情了。

 

512： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:57:24.67 ID:Dtqy99Hr0

>510

I guess that was the moment you stopped being just another “otaku friend” and became a “woman” in CanBadge’s eyes.

就是那个瞬间开始，在小徽章的眼里，你不再仅仅是个 “宅友”而是个 “女孩”了。

 

513： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 21:59:36.22 ID:eDVRxafC0

CanBadge is like a pure little maiden.

Try to be more sensitive with him, 1wwwww

小徽章就像小小的少女一样。

>>1，照顾他的时候要细心体贴一点wwww

 

516： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:03:12.46 ID:BeDcEal20

I was happy since it made me feel like I’m his girlfriend and not just another otaku friend. So I waited patiently until he’d mentally prepared himself for it.

Plus, him not trying to have sex with me immediately made me feel like I was being treated with respect and care.

Then, a whole year passed.

He didn’t try anything on me for a whole fucking year.

我很开心，因为这感觉有点像是他的女友而不仅仅是宅友了。所以我一直耐心地等待他做好心理准备。

而且，不是立刻就要和我XXOO这点也是他的尊重和关心。

但是，一年过去了。

在这（哔–）的一年里都没想过对我出手。

 

We played eroge together lots of times and I could tell he had a hard-onwwwwww I could also tell that he kept peeking over at me. But he didn’t try anything.

When I asked him later “How’d you get rid of your hard-on afterwards on days like that?”, he said “I thought about red pandas and it went away instantly because I’m not into furries.” (In case you don’t know red pandas, they’re also called lesser panda. They’re the ones that can stand upright.)

一起玩过很多次gal，我都能感觉到他硬了wwwww我也能肯定他一直在偷瞄我，但就是不敢更进一步。

后来我问他：“那时候你是怎么事后处理的？”

“我使劲地想着小熊猫，然后就马上平息了。因为我讨厌毛茸茸的质感。”

小熊猫

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%B0%8F%E7%86%8A%E7%8C%AB

 

I wanted to do anything I could to make it happen too. I even asked the Prez for advice since he’d turned into the one person I could ask about CanBadge.

The Prez’ conclusion: I wasn’t moe enough.

如果能让他主动，要我做什么都愿意啊。我甚至还向总统寻求建议，那个唯一能商量小徽章事情的人。

总统的结论是：我不够萌。

 

519： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:05:52.05 ID:DMEuIL23O

Red pandaswwwwwww

小熊猫：Excuse me？ wwww

 

514： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:01:49.35 ID:DMEuIL23O

Isn’t it about time CanBadge came home?w

小徽章要到家了吧w

 

521： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:08:01.74 ID:BeDcEal20

>>514

Yeah, he’s really late. He hasn’t written anything since that last e-mail either. Being the kind of guy who can’t say no, I guess he’s still out drinking with his friends. I don’t mind though as long as I get to see him before his birthday is over.

>>514

他今天是有点晚，而且之后也没再给我回过消息。因为不会拒绝别人，他估计还在和朋友们畅饮呢。说实话，只要能在生日结束前见到他就行。

 

I asked the Prez what he meant when he said I wasn’t moe enough. He said, for starters, I ought to get my hairstyle changed.

I had curled hair back then because I love curls in my hair. But the Prez declared that guys don’t like curled hair.

According to him, only hostesses are allowed to have curled hair. That’s the Prez for ya.

“你说我不够萌是什么意思？”

“对新手来说，就从修个发型开始吧。”

那时我留的是卷发，因为我很喜欢缠绕起卷的发丝。但总统宣言男孩子并不喜欢卷发。

“只有夜店女孩的卷发才能被接受。”

总统你啊。

 

He told me “From today on, you will sport twintails!” and I was like “Who the hell has twintails nowadays!?wwwwwww”, but then thought “Wait, it’s CanBadge we’re talking about here. Twintails might actually work!”.

Well, long story short, he didn’t react to my twintails at all. I think, all he said was “Your hair looks different today.”.

“从今天开始，你要留双马尾！”

这种年头还有谁会留双马尾啦!?wwwwww等等，对小徽章来说，说不定双马尾还挺有效果的！

长话短说，小徽章对我的马尾一点反应都没有。他唯一的表现是“你今天换了个发型嘛”。

 

525： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:16:21.71 ID:BeDcEal20

I tried knee highs and cat ears. I even made a thread on 2ch with the title “What kind of girls do otaku like?”wwwwwwww

Following an advice from that thread, I tried cosplay too. Bought an Athena (King of Fighters) costume off eBay for cheap and put it on when he came over to my place. But all I got out of him was “Ohh, they used a pretty high-quality fabric for thatwwwww”. orz

I asked him “Is it cute?” and got a “Yeah, it’s not bad.”. In the end, he told me “But I can’t relax if you’re not wearing your usual clothes.”. orzorzorz

我还试了过膝袜和猫耳，甚至还在2ch上开了讨论串“宅宅喜欢什么样的女孩？”wwwwww

根据从串上得到的建议，我尝试了cosplay。在ebay上便宜买了拳皇里雅典娜的cos服并在家里穿给小徽章看。

得到的回复是“哦哦，他们做衣服的面料质量真高呢wwww”orz。

 

I reported it all to the Prez, but he said “That means, you’re still not moe enough.”.

我向总统汇报了一切，他摇了摇头，“这只能说明，你还是不够萌”。

 

“Why don’t you try acting like his little sister next?”

“下次试试扮演他的妹妹吧？”

 

“His little sister?”

“他的…妹妹？”

 

“CanBadge has a little-sister fetish. Try calling him big brother next, then you’ll see.”

“小徽章有点妹控。叫他欧尼酱，然后嘛…”

 

is what the Prez told me.

Thinking about it now, I probably spent more time with the Prez asking him for advice than I spent with my boyfriend CanBadge back thenwwwwwww

现在回忆一下，因为和总统商谈待在一起的时间比和男朋友小徽章在一起的时间估计都要多wwwwww

 

527： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:19:36.64 ID:M9uC2fyt0

>>525

The Prezwww

Watch what you’re sayingwwwwwwwwwwwww

>>525

总统你wwww

看看你都说了些什么wwwwwwwwwwww

 

528： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:19:41.23 ID:DMEuIL23O

The Prez’ advice is always somehow offwwwwwwwwwww

总统的建议每次都有那么一点点脱线wwwwww

 

529： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:21:29.68 ID:BeDcEal20

Then, I seriously tried calling him big brotherwwwwwwww When we were having dinner at my place, I said something like “Big bro, say Ahhh.”wwwwwww So creepywwwwwww But it’s what the Prez told me to do. Besides, I was running out of options and getting quite desperate.

然后，我认真地开始扮演起妹妹的角色了wwwww

在我家吃晚饭时，尝试了“欧尼酱，张开嘴，啊~”之类的话wwwww

呃…真恶心wwww总统都让我干了什么啊…

但是，我也确实是黔驴技穷了。

 

I was worried about how he’d react and, at the same time, disgusted with myself for saying something like thatwwwwww But CanBadge said “Oh well, alrightwwwww” and opened his mouth. He seemed to be enjoying it a little.

一边在意着小徽章会有什么反应，一边自己恶心得起了鸡皮疙瘩wwww

小徽章说着“好~”，张开了嘴，似乎还很享受。

 

　THE LITTLE SISTER ACT IS SUPER EFFECTIVE!

扮演妹妹这一招效果拔群！

 

That was the moment I made up my mind to stick to the little sister routine.

后来这件事就成了惯例。

 

533： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:25:09.87 ID:Dtqy99Hr0

The little sis act was actually effective?wwww

But man, it must have taken >>1 a lot of couragewwwww

扮演妹妹这一招这么有用？

坦白说，>>1这么做肯定很需要勇气wwww

 

530： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:22:11.81 ID:S1f1povr0

1 sure made a lot of effortwwww

>>1，辛苦了wwww

 

534： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:25:31.29 ID:BeDcEal20

>>530

I did. I tried almost everything. I was just that DESPERATE.

>>530

确实很辛苦。我几乎尝试了所有办法，已经近乎是绝望了。

 

I normally wear clothes that are rather plain, but started to wear cuter clothes from that day on.

I also dyed my normally light brown hair black and straightened it.

我习惯穿素色的衣服，自那天开始我试着走更可爱风的打扮。

我把自己天生浅棕色的长发染成了黑色，把卷曲烫直。

 

As for make-up, I wear quite a lot because of my job as a BA, but I made sure to remove my “work” make-up and put on very light one instead when I met CanBadge.

Sounds desperate, doesn’t it? Damn right, I was desperate. At this point, we’d been dating for 10 whole months and we still hadn’t done anything. I was at my limit.

因为职业是美容顾问，所以我经常化妆。但在每次与小徽章见面前我都会卸掉，然后化上极淡的那种。

听起来已经孤注一掷了，对吧？已经约会了十个月，还没有任何进展，我已经快到极限了。

 

526： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:18:50.49 ID:SnFJwjfw0

>>1 is so damn cute.

>>1怎么能这么萌？

 

531： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:22:59.53 ID:UL7lEtPoO

I have to agree with >>526.

And the Prez is doing it on purpose because she’s so cute. GJ!!!

附议楼上。

总统一定是因为>>1太可爱了才故意给出那些建议的。干得漂亮！！！

 

537： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 22:28:43.30 ID:S3gjkj9TO

CanBadge is cute as fuck, but…

>>1 is even cuterwwwwwwwwwwww

小徽章已经萌度爆表了，但是…

>>1竟然更胜一筹

 

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这章都已经这么羞耻了 \捂眼睛

更何况下一章是不可描述情节…翻译君不太想翻啊 …

但为什么有人XXOO都能这么傲娇萌啊！！！

 

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