Anime Maru: 雪冬～棉被猫猫虫大侵略！

引用元：http://www.animemaru.com/

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Anime Maru is a regularly-updating online publication that is dedicated to bringing you up-to-date news and commentary about the anime industry.

Anime Maru是一个定期更新的在线网站，我们会带给你动画界最新的消息和评论。

 

Selected ones (Edited)

精选新闻

 

东京：再回收项目方兴未艾–“新的老婆，新的生活”

05/22/17: ‘New Laifu for Old Waifu’ Recycling Program Initiated in Tokyo

‘New Laifu for Old Waifu’ Recycling Program Initiated in Tokyo

by Vestro

涸欢：上图的几个亮点你们都找到了吗www

 

The issue of waste management is an issue for many industrialized nations around the globe. With its large population density, the bustling city of Tokyo is no exception. In an attempt to curb the rising rate of waste, the city’s Chiyoda ward has begun a new recycling initiative aimed at the one of the region’s primary source of waste. The program, dubbed New Laifu for Old Waifu (NLOW), specifically targets proper disposal methods for unwanted figures, primarily of anime and manga characters, with a hope to significantly reduce the amount of plastic waste generated by the city.

废弃物处理已经成为多数工业国家面临的一大难题。作为人口密度庞大的典型地区，东京都也不例外。为了减缓废弃物产生，最近管理部门在核心地区出台了“老婆以旧换新 (NLOW)”的回收项目：通过回收宅宅不再想要的动漫角色的手办，来控制废弃塑料的数量。

 

“The disposable nature of seasonal waifus leads to a dramatic increase of figurine based waste every quarter,” Yoshida Nishikomi, manager of the program, stated.“Years ago, the average retention rate for waifu was much higher than it is today. These days, many waifu can be forgotten and disposed of within as little as 6 months. People are quick to move on to the next seasonal girl who is getting all the attention at the moment which has led to thousands upon thousands of unwanted figures ending up in our landfills.”

“新番更新过于频繁，每一季度都有大量的手办被丢弃”，项目主管Yoshida这么介绍:“如今老婆们的存留率远低于几年前。仅仅六个月的时间里，人们就迅速移情别恋，为新的番剧角色而着迷。于是，其他角色就迅速地被遗忘、抛弃，数不清的老婆们也难逃垃圾填埋的命运。”

 

In the past, the city would deal with disposed figures by simple incinerating them but concerns over air pollution caused by the brightly colored paints have halted the practice. The NLOW program works to salvage the plastics used in many figures for use in manufacturing new products. Figures are melted down and turned into more useful items such as plastic cups, garbage bins, step stools, and adult diapers.

此前，东京都还采取过集中焚化的处理方式；只是，手办上艳丽的化学物燃烧后会产生刺鼻气味，引发了居民对空气污染的抗议，使得这一措施被迫中止。而现在的以旧换新项目却能将手办中的塑料再次利用，变废为宝，生产出新的老婆们。另外，多余的资源还能被用于制造塑料杯、垃圾桶、小梯凳和成人尿布。

 

“We have had great success with the program so far,” Nishikomi explained to Anime Maru. “Those Hestia figures are particularly useful right now; we get pallets of them coming in every day and the excessive plastic in the chest pieces allows us to salvage a lot of material out of them during the recycling process.”

“项目已经取得了巨大的成功”,主管向记者展示着样品：“像这个赫斯缇亚的手办每天都能回收几十个；因为能从胸部回收更多的材料，大家都很喜欢。”

 

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新番新烦恼：性向到底是哪边？

11/15/17: Fall Anime Season Forces Area Man to Question His Sexuality Once Again

Fall Anime Season Forces Area Man to Question His Sexuality Once Again

by Dormaanon

 

Mark Josey, living a happy married life with 3 children, has only recently recovered from his awkward man-crush on Astolfo from Fate/Apocrypha, is once again been presented a new set of challenges. Japanese anime isn’t letting him go that easily.

婚姻美满、育有三子的Josey刚刚从对男孩子–“Fate/Apocrypha”中的阿福–的莫名狂热中稍稍恢复，就遇见了新的挑战。日本动画根本不会这么轻易放过他。

 

This time Josey nominates Houseki no Kuni as the biggest offender, a series that features genderless gemstones as the main characters. According to Josey, he isn’t even that bothered by the fact that the characters have no specified gender, it’s more the fact that the characters are literally gems.

这次让Josey犯愁的，是以炫目的宝石们为主角的新番–“宝石之国”。Josey告诉我们，这些角色不仅没有性别；它们就是货真价实的矿石，这更让他困扰了。

 

“I cannot tell anyone I’ve masturbated to phosphophyllite. The sound of that is absolutely horrible. I have to keep the fact secret from my wife.”

“‘我对磷叶石发情了’ 这种话怎么说得出口！听上去就恶心得要死！这件事绝不能让妻子知道！”

 

According to Josey, the fact he now has to spend large amounts of time contemplating on whether it is morally correct or not to have sexual thoughts about minerals is the kind of philosophical depth he never wanted his entertainment have. Previously, anime has forced him to question his values regarding sexualization of other inanimate objects and, for example, animals.

每天Josey都得花上几小时沉思，对无机物产生性欲到底算不算出格。他从没想到，也不情愿由动画引发如此深刻的哲学沉思。他还承认，在此之前，动画就已经让他不得不直面自己心底的欲望，比如说，对动物朋友们。

 

“Thank God we have things like My Girlfriend is a Faithful Virgin Bitch airing this season. Getting turned on by drawn high-schoolers makes me feel like I’m just your regular creep, nothing more. But stones, that’s where I decide to draw the line.”

“谢天谢地我们还有‘关我碧事’这样的正统作品。迷恋高中生让我觉得自己只是个普通的变态。但是喜欢上石头，真的是越线了。”

 

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粉丝：承认喜欢“刀剑神域”真的需要勇气

10/07/17: Man Can’t Admit He Likes ‘Sword Art Online’

Man Can’t Admit He Likes ‘Sword Art Online’

by Vextrr

 

Andy Seung is an avid anime watcher and a long time Sword Art Online fan. His collection of Sword Art Online light novels, video games, figures, posters, and Asuna body pillows is paralleled by few, and he has rewatched the entire series and total of 47 times. However, Seung has never admitted to his peers that Sword Art Online is, in fact, his favorite anime series.

Andy是个不折不扣的动画迷，也是SAO的忠实粉丝。­他收藏有全卷的轻小说、改编游戏、手办、海报和多套亚丝娜的抱枕；甚至把动画反反复复观看了四十七遍之多。只是，Andy从不敢在朋友面前提起这部最心仪的作品。

 

Seung has been secretive about his love for Sword Art Online ever since he realized his group of friends despised the anime series. When discussing the show, Seung would always agree with his friends, describing it as, “one of the worst anime [he’s] ever seen.”Along with 163,000 other users, Seung created a secondary MAL account just to rate the first season 10/10, hidden from the prying eyes of the friends he tried to deceive.

意识到朋友们并不待见SAO的那刻起，Andy就开始竭力保守自己的小秘密。和朋友们一起时，他也会附和着称SAO为“有史以来最烂的作品”。他还在动画网站注册了小号，只为避开朋友们雪亮的眼睛，给第一季的动画打上10/10的评分。

 

With the recent announcement of a third Sword Art Online season, as well as a spin-off adaptation, a dedicated fan such as Seung would reasonably by overjoyed by this development. However, Seung responds to this news not with delight, but fear.

最近SAO公布了第三季和副作企划的消息。可是，Andy的第一反应却不是狂喜，而是害怕。

 

“I know that if I tell my friends I’m excited for the new season, they’ll just say my taste in anime is shit. This really came at the worst time. I was thinking that enough time had passed since the first season for people to have forgotten about it, but now it’ll be at least another five years before I can come out,” Seung told Anime Maru. “Please don’t tell any of my friends about this.”

“要是任何朋友知道我在为新作兴奋，这就全完了！我的动画口味瞬间就会被鄙视到谷底。

“新作发布消息的时机真是太糟糕了。本来，第一季已经放映五年，SAO逐渐淡出了大家的视野。这样一来，要想解脱，又得再等上五年。”Andy还不忘告诫我们，“你们一定要替我保密啊。”

 

“What a degenerate piece of trash,” one of Seung’s friends, Chad Wilson, said after we immediately ratted him out. “I bet he’s not even excited about FLCL 2. We are no longer friends.”

我们立刻就出卖了他。

“真是堕落”，Andy的朋友当即表态，“他根本不懂动画！你看，FLCL续作的消息他竟然一点都不关心。替我传个话，我们绝交了。”

 

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新的手游席卷日本：随机数生成器小随酱

08/09/17: New Mobile Game Sweeping Japan is Actually Just Random Number Generator

New Mobile Game Sweeping Japan is Actually Just Random Number Generator

by kevo

 

A new mobile game released in Japan earlier this month called Fortuna Mobile Revolution has gained nearly 100 thousand subscribers in a matter of days. The game, based on the cryptographically secure pseudorandom number generator Fortuna, has players control moe anthropomorphized random number generators. The player’s random number generators are used to determine the rate of gatcha pulls, which players use to collect more random number generators with different abilities and cute character portraits. Players can also collect items such as entropy accumulators and block ciphers to upgrade their random number generators. For example, a promotion event this week distribute exclusive character generates numbers using the middle-square Weyl Sequence, and can only be acquired during the one-week-long event.

本月发行的新手游–《福尔图那手机革命！》短短几天内就吸引了数十万的玩家入坑。游戏基于保密效果良好的伪随机数序列生成器福尔图那（以下简称小随）搭建，允许玩家使用各式各样萌化的小随角色。小随能决定玩家的吸引点，使他们收集更多性格迥异的可爱小随酱。玩家们还能在游戏中收集诸如熵积累器和加密模块等物品来升级小随。例如，本周的人气活动角色是使用平方取中Weyl序列的小随，并且是只能在这次活动中获得的特别种。

 

While the basic version is free to play, players can use micro-transactions that allow them to run the randomization algorithms multiple times a day, or unlock rare random seed files and hope for a chance to acquire more unique characters.

虽然游戏提供免费试玩，但是课金可以增加每天运行随机化算法的次数，或者解锁稀有的种子文件。这样一来，得到稀有小随酱的概率便大大提高。

 

“In terms of design, Fortuna Mobile Revolution really captures the essence of what makes mobage so popular,” said Daniel Fairbanks, a mobile application market analyst at Nielsen Media Group. “Unlike Fate/Grand Order, it eliminates the painstaking process of narrative and gameplay and skips right to the euphoria of under 1% probability rare pulls.”

“《福尔图那手机革命！》拥有一切流行游戏的核心要素”,来自Nielsen媒体的app市场分析师Daniel认为：“跟Fate/Grand Order比较一下，它甚至略过了所有麻烦的剧情流程和游玩场景，只带给玩家最核心的游戏体验–得到出率1%以下极稀有物品一瞬间的升天般喜悦。”

 

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NK！至高无上的偶像祭！

09/05/17: North Korea Declares Idol Supremacy in the Pacific

North Korea Declares Idol Supremacy in the Pacific

by Vestro

 

North Korea leader Kim Jong-un denounced Japan’s alliance with the United States and declared that his country would commence with a demonstration of force within the coming months. The new project which the nation is calling ‘The Supreme Leader’s Live: Democratic People’s School Idol Project’ was declared by Kim Jong-un.

日前，NK的领袖公开指责了日美联盟的现行政策，并表示NK会在接下来的几月内展示自己的强大实力以示回应。新公布的计划叫做–“伟大领袖演唱会：人民的学园偶像”。

 

North Korea further added to its threat stating that its idol unit is already capable of reaching the hearts of fans in major cities across the west coast of the Untied States. While United States intelligence does not yet understand the full capabilities of North Korea’s idol unit, it does not believe that North Korea has the current ability to come within range of the United States. However, with enough training sessions intelligence believes that North Korea could be capable of reaching the west coast with its idol influence by the end of the year.

NK的发言人随后补充，他们的偶像拥有直击粉丝心灵的力量，唯美的歌声甚至能到达太平洋彼端的海岸城市。美国军方虽未正式确认偶像的能力，但对NK官方宣称的对美国的巨大影响表达了怀疑。不过，他们也承认，通过高质量的训练课程，这一目标或许会在今年年底成为现实。

 

“We already have the official merchandise and Blu-ray set ready for his Glorious Leader’s idol project,” Idol Promotional Manager of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Kwon Jong-su announced. “American leaders have continued to show their true arrogance and incapability of understanding the true appeal of idols. Soon the world will come to recognize the sounds and superiority of his Glorious Leader’s Democratic People’s Republic.”

“我们的蓝光碟片和官方周边即刻可以投入到这光荣的伟大计划中去”，NK的偶像producer宣称，“美国人的回应暴露了他们一如既往的自高自大，他们的思想还不足以理解偶像的真正魅力。不久后，世界就能体会到伟大领袖和他的人民有着多么美轮美奂的歌喉和至高无上的权威。”

 

Pyongyang citizens took to the streets to demonstrate their support for the new idol project with thousands of workers holding up banners and light sticks in support of the nation’s idols. The Workers’ Party of Korea began gathering top North Korean officials in order to go over the chants they would perform at the upcoming live performances and which colors they should pick in order to support their favorite girl.

平壤民众组织了自发游行来表达对偶像计划的热情拥护。他们高举横幅，挥舞着荧光棒，为属于他们的偶像疯狂助威。工人党的高层们聚集到一起，挑选和他们最可爱的小姐姐最衬的颜色，为演唱会准备最潮的口号。

 

The United States administration declared Kim Jong-un a reckless leader with no understanding of the production of idol songs. South Korean President Moon Jae-in responded to the news stating that his country would not stand for threats towards its cultural security. The South Korean military followed the announcement by blaring K-pop for several hours on loudspeakers aimed across the border. Japan announced that it would stand with its ally the United States; however, Japanese diplomats were later found secretly pre-ordering the limited edition Blu-ray set anyway.

美国方面回应NK才是不理解偶像美妙的那一方；韩方宣称绝不会向这可憎的文化侵略屈服：军方在边境布置了震耳欲聋的K-pop循环播放；日方发言再次强调了日美偶像联盟牢不可破；可是，日方外交部也预订了偶像计划限量版蓝光光碟的消息随后被披露。

 

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(Read more @ http://www.animemaru.com/

在http://www.animemaru.com/ 这里读到更详细的报道！)

特别感谢kevo @ Anime Maru的翻译与转载许可。

 

Ok, for liability reasons, I have to come clean. Anime Maru is a satirical publication. Nothing on this site should be interpreted as factual nor as a claim to fact. Content is not reflective of opinions held by the staff of Anime Maru. Content is not intended for readers under the age of 18. In conclusion, Anime Maru is fake anime news. If any of this is a surprise to you, I recommend speaking to your mother. She has something to tell you about the tooth fairy.

好吧，我老实交代，Anime Maru是个讽刺新闻网站。站上所有的新闻都不该被看作事实，也不该被视作网站成员的观点，网站的使用者最好已经成年。你没看错，Anime Maru编造动画新闻。读到这儿，如果觉得震惊不已，我建议你去找妈妈聊聊，她挺乐意给你讲讲小牙仙的故事。

 

Anime Maru Staff (IV)

彩蛋：Anime Maru成员 (四)

 

RogerSmith2004

https://en.gravatar.com/rogersmith2004

Tasteful elitist and local negotiator, Roger spent his early days being raised by a pack of wolves. He traveled far and distant lands to find Rakuen. While he was searching, he stumbled upon Anime Maru. Using his negotiation skills, he managed to get a gig there. One day he hopes to find a place where both casuals and elitists can all get better taste in anime. He also has a Twitter account to spread the good word of Takashi Kamiyama: @MPCaraturo

被群狼养育大的Roger举止优雅，长成了杰出的交易精英。他追寻着乐园的指引，无惧行旅劳顿，跋涉千山万水。在旅程中，他偶然邂逅了Anime Maru，以出色的交涉谋得了一席之位。他期望着普通和狂热宅和平共处，互相提升动画口味的理想乡。他传教神山 高志(《魁！！天兵高校》)的twitter账号是@MPCaraturo.

 

Vestro

https://en.gravatar.com/v3stro

Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.

我们仍不明白Vestro是如何只靠拉面和时常中断的网络连接活到现在的，更不用说，他依旧目光锐利，思维敏捷。不过，吃荞麦面吃到吐的时候，就会觉得改善生活节奏是件要事。Vestro的爱好是假装看得懂日语视频与拼凑美梦的残片。

 

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#今天的涸欢也需要糖分#

 

我试了两次，但都没把握好时机，越过了滴定终点。

她就在旁边看着呢！我猛地拭去汗滴，焦躁却在身体里蔓延。

搭档轻唤我的名字，

“换我来试试。”

她把发圈叼在唇上，再将脑后的发髻挽成马尾，利落地打成圈儿，再系上。

我把滴定台交给她。

她的目光随下坠的液滴轻轻浮动，右手旋转起锥形瓶来。容器里透明的液体打出了旋，煞是好看；

她发上的暗红色缎带饰着三两只小球儿，也顽皮地随一起一伏上下摆动，振起小小的、清脆的铃响。

我直盯着出神，脑海里什么也没剩下。

突然间，她转过身来，迎着光向我高高地举起锥形瓶，笑意盈盈。

我吓了一跳。

再仔细分辨，最后半滴氢氧化钠正滑落下去，把整片溶液染出绚丽的红，正如她的发带，红得热烈。

我不自觉避开她的目光，掩饰起尴尬来，

“我…我也行…”

她撇了撇嘴，看回了滴定台，

“记读数啦，傻瓜。”

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